Opposites Attract
Opposites attract. This is an old stock cliché. But guess what? It contains a lot of truth. We humans tend to see in others the desirable traits we lack in ourselves. We instinctively sense that if we can only attach ourselves to those admired by others we may develop some of the same beneficial qualities ourselves.
So opposites often marry. Cholerics select phlegmatics for their calm. Laid-back, got-it-all together personalities. Phlegmatics admire cholerics’ ability to get things done and succeed in the world. Sanguines see in melancholies the order and organization in their lives that they themselves do not possess. Melancholies are taken with spontaneity and social graces of the sanguines. How wonderful to be the life of the party!
But the attraction can turn into a distraction. After a while, the attributes one so admired in the other can grow old. That which seemed charming now gets on one’s nerves. His excessive talkativeness at social events embarrasses her. He wonders why she does not get more done in a day. The differences become irritating. But there they are STUCK TOGETHER for life! It seems more like a sentence than a celebration.
Nevertheless, some couples who are very different from each other have learned to adjust and achieve a happy marriage. They have learned even to appreciate their differences and to celebrate their distinctive qualities. In some marriages, when viewing test results that revealed differentness that bordered on polarization on nearly every front some would be afraid that their partnership may self-destruct.True to this concern, soon they discover that facing the differentness and working through the issues it creates have been the most, if not always often, the significant challenge today.
People are different. That is not a surprise. One may had never met anyone who could get more done in a day with the other. What most of the women don not know is the extent of the men’s agenda and how hard it would put bounds on work. One may admire the spontaneity of the other; however, what the guy would not know is how frustrating a girl could be when she wanted to overturn his carefully laid out plans at the last minute. And so many other quite annoying differences would always bring about later on in a relationship.
Partners, couples, dating partners- however you may call it, each is widely different from each other. How can these people with such extremely diverse personalities ever make a relationship flourish? A journey from acknowledging to accepting these diversities defines the close-to-perfection kind of relationship. From tolerance and respect, what else would there be if partners will try to complement each other’s differences.
The subject here is coming to appreciate the distinctive qualities of our partner. Would we really want another person to be just like us? Someone has said that if two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary. Each brings his or her unique strengths to a relationship. The key to a happy partnership between two opposites is learning to value – perhaps even celebrate – each other’s qualities.
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